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A Walk In The Past

Harley’s Beagle Blog June 2018

Harley’s Beagle Blog June 2018

‘The Diet Years’

Hello fans and apologies for not putting pen to paper over the last few very traumatic months. It all began when an article, written by my own personal vet, appeared in our local newspaper under the title ‘Are you guilty of giving your overweight pet too many treats?

Now it did not take Sherlock Holmes to work out that the fictitious dog named ‘Davidson’ happened to bear a distinct similarity to me, the famous Harley and I began to receive telephone calls from friends and fans asking me if I had taken part in this interview or even consented to my name being used.

After consulting my lawyer, a cat called Trudie, it became clear that the chances of me actually winning damages would be slim even though it said that I was carrying ‘an extra 15 kg of padding’.

What the article did do however was to make me take a good look in the mirror, well two mirrors actually, ‘cause I could not fit in one. I bought all the books, fitness DVDs and self-help manuals and never read one of them, cause I can’t read but the low calorie, high fibre food has really made a difference and I am now pooing out at least half a kilo of prime fibre a day.

It has been a difficult four months and so far I have lost six kilos which to put in context is the weight of our cat Trudie.

Harley the Beagle Harrier

Harley has just spotted an Opel Manta

So in real terms I have lost a full cat in weight. I now have a waist and can almost lick my rear end again without getting a stroke. As of today I am 44 kilos, which I admit is still a bit heavy for a 35 kilo dog but I am going in the right direction. I can wear collars that I had to put in storage, can run miles without panting and can still steal the cat’s food when she is not looking.

My aim is to reach 40 kilos by the end of the summer and enter ‘Slimmer of the Year 2018’. The prize is a year’s supply of dog food and I aim to eat the whole lot in one month. So thanks to my good friend Kieran, the vet for embarrassing me into this life style change and I know that I would not have done it without that initial push.

I intend to write my next book called ‘Diet dogs, does my bum look good in this or how to lick your rear end’ and I will dedicate it to Kieran. Meanwhile, Dusty is also on a diet but only seems to lose 50 grams a week. I have a notion that she is getting food parcels sent in from outside and stashing them away.

I am currently on the hunt for any spare cat or dog food available so please think of me the next time you have your roast beef dinner. I should have got sponsorship for this weight loss and put it towards my retirement fund or as I like to call it ‘food’.

Anyway, must go as there is a chance that my dinner is nearly ready which normally has the texture and taste of carpet going in and concrete coming out.

Harley Beagle.

Chief security guard at The Abingdon Collection.

                                                         

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