Harley’s Beagle Blog August 2017

Harley's Beagle Blog - The Abingdon Collection

Harley’s Beagle Blog August 2017

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More thoughts from The Abingdon Collection

Well hello fans and welcome to the August edition of my blog. Things have changed again at ‘Abingdon Towers’ with the addition of another feline friend. Now I am a dog and maybe I am old fashioned but surely dogs and cats are not supposed to get on.

In the good old days dogs chased cats up trees, cats knew their place, hissed back at you and all was fine with the world. Equality has just gone too far and this cat now thinks that it is on the same social level as Dusty and me.

Trudie, the cat, has had a very chequered life. She started life as a kitten at number 12, moved in with us at number 16 some years ago and then after a short time made the decision to move next door to number 18 where she set up her permanent home with our lovely, elderly next door neighbour. So much for loyalty.

She loved and was loved by her long term owner, but this year after a very difficult and sad time, Trudie moved back in with us. Now cats just do not immediately pack up their Whiskas and make the decision to move. They gradually increase the pressure to ensure that gullible humans will feel sorry for them.

First you see them beneath the car and eventually they take the next step and brush against the nearest human in a show of false affection. Having made their presence felt they will sit for hours looking hungry until someone takes pity on them and gives them a tin of ‘my’ food.

Now cats don’t even like dog food but they are clever enough to eat it and then throw it up just around the corner and out of sight. This goes on for a week or so until, by complete accident, the cat runs in while the human is unloading the groceries.

To sounds of ‘ahhhh’, the cat again ingratiates herself with pitiful noises and starts rolling on her back in a false display of affection. The first die has been cast and the cat is in. Attempts to put it out are in vain as she hides behind the sofa and meows and purrs.

Dusty and I watch this pantomime from a distance and cannot believe humans are so gullible. One hour sitting on the carpet becomes two hours on the chair and then four hours on my sofa. The next milestone after about two weeks is the question of where the damned cat will sit permanently.

Now if you have two humans in the house it does not take a mathematician to work out that two dogs and one cat cannot sit beside or on the said two humans at the one time. If we move she moves in a game of musical chairs without the music. She watches our every move like a battlefield general just about to gain a bit of ground. I go for a drink of water or light snack and ‘bam’ when I come back… no chair.

Dusty and Trudie - The Abingdon Collection
Dusty feels distant from Trudie, The Abingdon Collection’s new cat

Now I am almost fifty kilos of Beagle Harrier muscle, but I do not mess with claws. You see when the humans are about she acts like butter would not melt in her mouth, but if the humans leave the room all hell breaks loose. Remember the strapline for the film ‘JAWS’, ‘just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water’.

Well this is like ‘just when you thought it was save to turn your backside to the cat’, it is like ‘The Excorcist meets the Cat from Hell’. Anyway, after traumatising Dusty for a while, back comes the human to purrs and cuddles. The Only good thing about having this cat about is the food. We get crap and she gets ‘Gourmet Gold Chicken Pate’.

She gets feed about five times a day and we get fed our miserable rations of flavoured sawdust twice a day. I lick her bowl until my tongue hurts but only get a slight flavour of the culinary delights she is enjoying. I was caught eating a discarded tin of her food last week and would not give it up.

It is probably not good for a dog eating a tin can but I did it as a protest to make a point about the discrimination in this house at the minute. I even stole a full unopened can from the larder but was caught before I could do much damage… pretty smart ‘Eh’ for a dog that cannot read very well. Eating a tin can of cat food can be painful, and is not recommended, but trying to discharge it out the other end requires super canine ability and an awful lot of luck.

So we are resigned to having another cat in the house but Dusty is definitely planning something to put this cat back in her box. I can see her working out plans of peeing on the carpet and blaming the cat or scratching the furniture just below where the cat is sleeping.

When the revolution comes dogs will prevail. All food parcels still being gratefully accepted although I do think that Dusty is putting on a few pounds, either that or she is having pups again… I suppose I will get the blame for that too.

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